UPDATE:

In lieu of flowers, Bridget is setting up an education fund for children
Fiona and Oliver Edmonds Education Fund,
c/o Atlantic Regional Credit Union,
55 Cushing St., Brunswick, ME 04011.

10/13/2013     Today at 12:30 PM my youngest brother JEFFERY EDMONDS lost his battle with cancer.

“Even the strong show signs of fatigue.” Friedrich Nietzsche

My brother said this to me once. At the moment, I have a deep and un-abiding understanding of it.

 

Things I’ve earned from my brother Jeffery Lee Edmonds

People don’t actually change that much. Since Jeff was younger than me, I got to see him grow up a little. Obviously he’s changed a lot. But in many ways, he’s also very much the same. The sensitive, gentle demeanor he’s had since he was younger never left him. He’s always had a dry sense of humor, a deep love of food, an infectious laugh, and a tendency to get lost in his own world.

I think this a good reminder for everyone, especially when we get stuck in the toxic pattern of wishing we were different or more like so-and-so, that many of our personality traits and preferences seem to be hardwired from a very young age, and that’s pretty cool.

You can be smart, cultured, and mature, and still think nothing in the world is funnier than a poop joke. If there’s anything I’ve learned from my three smart, funny, well-informed, sensitive, thoughtful brothers, it’s that there is no shame in scatological humor. Jeff, specifically, is capable of discussing the nuances of philosophical belief systems, building a super computer, and writing a dystopian novel, and he still cracks up at the mere mention of the words “poop” or “butt.” The lesson here? Let your poop joke flag fly!

Appreciate Nature. No one I know had a bigger and better appreciation of the world around him. Spot the natural beauty of the mountains, the trees, the ocean, everything. Beauty surrounds you. Slow down and appreciate it.

LAUGH at yourself. At Thanksgiving one year in front of the entire family and his girlfriend (soon to be fiancee) I managed to spill my entire plate of food onto my lap. I was horrified. Our eyes made contact and we both just started laughing. Sometimes in life things are going to be messy and not go the way you want. Laugh at it and move on. Today- just about the time of Jeff’s last breath, I dropped a potato on the floor in a restaurant. I said, “that one’s for Jeff.”

Stop procrastinating. When Jeff first moved with his family to Maine from St. Louis my wife went up to help paint some rooms in his house. They were up nearly all night painting and Jeff spoke of his goal of writing a novel. His time on this planet expired before he was able to finish. Get off your ass and finish your goals. Jeff was a writer.

He always wanted to write a novel. He just ran out of time. We have have things we wanted to do but come up with excuses on why we can’t do it.

No excuses, promise me you will follow through with your goals. 

This moment is your life.– Your life is not between the moments of your birth and death.  Your life is between now and your next breath.  The present – the here and now – is all the life you ever get.  So live each moment in full, in kindness and peace, without fear and regret.  And do the best you can with what you have in this moment; because that is all you can ever expect of anyone, including yourself.

I have just learned that A lifetime isn’t very long.– This is your life, and you’ve got to fight for it.  Fight for what’s right.  Fight for what you believe in.  Fight for what’s important to you.  Fight for the people you love, and never forget to tell them how much they mean to you.  Realize that right now you’re lucky because you still have a chance.  So stop for a moment and think.  Whatever you still need to do, start doing it today.  There are only so many tomorrows.

I stand upon the ocean shore.

As a ship at my side opens her sail

to the morning breeze and begins to glide

across the water blue.

She is a beautiful sight.

I stand and watch her as she glides

with grace and strength into the clouds

on the horizon.

Just where the sky and the ocean meet

and come to mingle with one another.

When I hear someone cry out,

“She is gone.” and I must turn and say to them,

“Yes, but gone only from sight.”

For within the mind and heart she can always

be found.

For life is eternal,

Love is immortal,

and death is only a horizon,

and a horizon is nothing save the limits of our sight.

And, just at the moment when someone says, “There, she is gone,”

there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices

ready to take up the glad shout, “Here she comes!”

And that is dying…

Death comes in its own time, in its own way.

Death is as unique as the individual experiencing it.

Obituary  for Jeff