AND THE WINNERS ARE:

LOL (5th place) –

Jason Mortimer from Bounce Gymnastics in Michigan

– While working with some girls at a camp, I put a “foamy friend” in between the feet of a girl about to do a back hip circle (7 years old). I told her it was the most important foamy friend in the world, and if she dropped it it would break and she’d owe me “a hundred million thousand dollars.”
Her eyes got wide, and then she said, “Can I just give you a gift card?”

LMAO (4th place TIE)

Beth Gardner from Heart of Texas Gymnastics

RJ joined the team with the anticipation that he would be prepping to compete for next season.  He didn’t feel ready to compete when he joined the team.  After working out with team for a few weeks, he walked up to his mom and said,  “Mom, I think I have to compete this year….I’m just too good no to.”  RJ is 7 years old.

TIE

Jason Mortimer from Bounce Gymnastics in Michigan

I threw a “clean the pit” party when we got some new pit blocks. In order to motivate the girls, I created a scavenger hunt awarding points for things I suspected we’d find in the pit (socks, hair ties, jewelry, etc.). The girl who collected the most items that added up to the most points won a trophy. 5 year old Lauren kept coming up to me when she’d find something and asking me how many points it was worth. After about the 4th or 5th time, I exasperatedly told her to “look at the list, I gave copies to everyone.”

Then she said, in her 5 year old voice, “Yeah, I can’t read. But I can do front tucks.”

SPILLED MY COFFEE (3RD PLACE TIE)

Melody Gammon from Corrigan’s Gymnastics in Massachusetts

We had Santa Claus come to the gym for our team party.  He asked each girl individually what they wanted.  The requests ranged from the practical (“I’d like a new leotard.”) to the materialistic (“I want an iPod Touch.”) to the idealistic (“I’d like my college acceptance letter.”).  However, I don’t think any quite topped the request from the “space cadet” of our team.  She asked Santa for “a dragon so that he can come to my house and eat my brother.”

TIE

Jill Horgan from Atlantic Gymnastics in Dover, NH (Full disclosure, This is one of the clubs I own)

Coach: ‘What do you want for Christmas?’
Student (2 year old): ‘Hooters!’
Student (3 year old boy): ‘Damnit!!’
Coach: ‘Nice words only please’
Student: ‘It’s OK, my dad says that all the time.’

PEED MY PANTS (2ND PLACE) Winner of a Gym Momentum T-shirt

Heather Park from Hamilton Gymnastics Academy in Ontario, Canada.

I coach an 8 yr old girl who likes to pride herself on an extensive vocabulary.
She was afraid to jump from low bar to high bar. I said “Come on, just jump” What she meant to say was “Hang on, I just want to contemplate the bar for a little while” What she said was “Hang on, I just want to copulate the bar for a little while.” I turned about 6 shades of red, took about 10seconds and said “I think you meant to say CONTEMPLATE the bar” “Yeah that’s what I said” she replied.

CONVULSING on FLOOR, UNABLE TO BREATH (1ST PLACE) Winner of $100 Gift Certificate from Mancino

Monica Rynes from RC Dance & Gymnastics in Wisconsin.

In one of our Tumblefun classes we were holding basket shape on the floor.  In order to get them to hold it longer I asked the class of 3 year olds to tell me one at a time what they had IN their baskets.  One had puppies, one had apples, a couple others had other miscellaneous items, but one little boy said “My basket is full of Budweiser and Hot Wings”.