I am in Iceland right now. The best place to watch any Olympic gymnastics is at the Bjarni Fel Sports bar in downtown Reykjavik. It is probably the only time that gymnastics is on the TV in bars with out the being REALLY creepy.
We have been there so much that the bar tender sees us coming, cleans off “our” table and turns the channel to gymnastics. Depending on what is on it is either Icelandic commentators (a husband and wife team whom I know. They are doing a great job) or the BBC.
This bar has a Big TV in the window, many people were lined up in the street watching gymnastics.
Listening to people in the bar I have heard some pretty great comments on gymnastics. There were many languages and accents but these are the best of what I have heard
1. …could I do this?
2. I bet I could have been an Olympic gymnast if my parents had started me when I was 3.
3. Actually I bet my parents probably looked at me and said: “Yeah, let’s just make sure that one doesn’t drown in Jell-O, or whatever.”
4. WOW VAULTING IS TERRIFYING. Vaulting should award points for not landing in the audience.
5. Simone Biles just did something more incredible than I have ever achieved in my life and she looks about as satisfied with it as someone who just tied their shoes.
6.HOW ARE THESE SCORES SO LOW?! (Argument starts)
7. She lost points for hopping while landing?!
8. Look, taking a hop after landing with an incredible level of energy onto the floor is just how physics works. Are we really punishing these incredible, talented young women for physics?
9. I know they are pros and can handle it, I’m just really worried for them, OK?
10. Wow, every floor routine is basically what I think I look like while dancing alone in my room.
11. I feel like there’s actually four medals you can earn: bronze, silver, gold, and Making Márta Károlyi Smile.
12. HOW AM I SO NERVOUS. I’M NOWHERE NEAR AN OLYMPICS.
13. SORRY I CAN’T BREATHE RIGHT NOW, I’M WAITING FOR LITTLE ROCKET PEOPLE TO FINISH DOING A GOOD JOB AT STUFF.
14. Can I sign up for whatever class you all attended where you learned how to give yourselves nonbumpy topknots and ponytails?
15. I have carpal tunnel just watching this vault.
16. I bet everything these ladies own is covered in a thin layer of chalk.
17. I have never seen so many bedazzled remixes of different countries’ flags in my entire life.
Then they found out we were gymnastics coaches:
18. So…it’s not possible to get a perfect score in this sport, right? Like, ever?
19. Like if Simone Biles isn’t getting perfect scores, can we all drop the ruse that getting a perfect score in gymnastics is even possible?
– Of course they ask, “Can you do a handstand? Like- on a Bar?”
20. I CAN’T EVEN DO A HANDSTAND ON LAND.
21. The commentators are explaining why this vault is hard, but, like, don’t worry, guys, it already looks pretty flipping hard to me. (Replay of Samir Ait Said’s broken leg)
22. I’m just glad all these ladies are using their powers for good, because I could equally envision a world where you wouldn’t want to meet a gang of disgruntled gymnasts in a dark alley.
23. OK, but some of the things y’all are doing actually look like someone is messing around in Photoshop.
24. Commentator: “Her air awareness is a little off on those double pikes right now” Guy next to me at the bar: ::NODS AS IF HE IS AT ALL FOLLOWING WHAT HE IS SAYING- then orders another beer
25. Ah, Olympic Gymnastics: my once every four years reminder that there are 16-year-olds with better resumes than me.
