Real Rewards of Coaching
As a young coach I knew there was more out there but I was not 100% sure what it was. It was the human element, the emotional intelligence piece, appreciating people and what they offer beyond their athletic skills. I must admit I took that for granted. I was into training, the X’s and O’s of coaching. I read and re-read books by Bill Sands and Gerry George. I read every article in Technique and every article printed by USECA. I was focused on designing better workouts and refining technique. There were championships, big wins and some disappointing losses. As I progressed in my coaching career and climbed the ladder so to speak I saw there was more to it. I gained a balance, a perspective. I realized that that yes the X’s and O’s were still important but it was the people I was coaching, the relationships, the satisfaction of seeing these gymnasts grow into responsible adults and move on with their lives outside of gymnastics.
At National Congress in Pittsburgh this year I ran into a gymnast who I had worked with nearly 30 years ago. Lizzy was part of an amazing group of young athletes I coached in New York in the late 80’s. They were amazing NOT because of their athletic accomplishments, but more because of their focus and dedication, the togetherness and team unity, the willingness to help each other be better. Lizzy epitomized what this group was about. She was not especially athletically gifted but she worked hard to get better and maximize her skills. What made Lizzy stand apart from everyone else was her love of the sport. Visiting with Lizzy brought back many fond memories of those days. It made me regret that I did not take more time to smell the roses and appreciate those kids for what they were. During our visit we barely talked about gymnastics. We talked about the progress of her career and what she had been doing in the last few decades. She is still involved in a type of gymnastics (circus arts) and is one of those people who jumps up on the flying trapeze in a heart beat. Visiting with her reminded of the real rewards of coaching – the people and relationships that endure after the championship trophies tarnish and the medals are stored in a drawer somewhere.
Make sure you take the time to appreciate what is going on around you.
Aww Tony! I’m so touched by this. Just some perspective from the other side…
I would be in your workouts – hear the things you asked us for – and stand there stunned. Part of me thought the things you asked us to do were so beyond me. I thought you were outrageous. At the same time I wanted to be respectful to you so deeply, I wanted to be able to do these things, and I feared that you would stop coaching me if I couldn’t. (As an adult, and knowing you now – I know you wouldn’t have done that. But, it was a fear I indulged as a kid.) I had never before had a coach take me to my limits in the way you did. But all I wanted was to be better. What I would have given for an ounce of talent!! I wanted it so badly. I don’t think I ever told you this – but whatever you gave us for conditioning – I would go home and repeat again.
Here’s the thing though. A few months after you asked, these crazy, “unachievable” things you requested – I could do them! You just knew how to cultivate it out of us! (I know it wasn’t just me who experienced this).
Gymnastics aside – the life lesson from you has been pivotal for me. There can be a way. When you want something badly enough – there can be a way, even when it seems, at first, that there can’t. It’s finding the right people and approaches along the way. That has been very important for me to know in life.
When I left my banking job to pursue flying trapeze, I kept a little training journal. In the cover one day, I wrote – “make it happen that tenacity becomes more important than talent.” I feel like this is sort of a theme this week but – influencing what you can, and releasing what you can’t. I knew I couldn’t influence my talent, but I could influence the effort and attention I used it with. Then somehow, this magic happens, and something that seems like it wasn’t enough becomes enough.
I will be forever grateful to you.
Hi Tony,
Just recently someone shared a quote with me: “it is not in the results you get, but in the hearts you touch that success is measured”. That has become more clear to me in the last few years and really means more to me now than “producing the next great gymnast”. What I now think about is how can I help these athletes become great people. If they happen to get good at gymnastics along the way, well, that is a fun bonus!