I found an article in the Huffington Post on ways to Inject JOY into Youth Sports. I adapted it to fit gymnastics.
I’ll preface this post by saying that I don’t have many answers. I’m simply asking questions and making observations as we navigate one aspect of our lives: youth sports.
Another preface is that my wife and I were both fairly decent gymnasts in our youth.We weren’t unbelievable, but we were athletic. A few more caveats:
I love coaching. I never really enjoyed coaching my kids. Watching and just being DAD was so much better.
I believe that competition is a good thing.
I believe sports in general and gymnastics specifically have the ability to teach valuable life lessons.
I want my kids to do their best and I will support them however I can.
I always remind myself in the gym that I am teaching WAY more than gymnastics. I want the kids to create some positive lasting memories.
Here’s the big question I’m wrestling with regarding youth sports: Where is the joy?
Have we traded it in for competition? Or preparation? Or even comparison?
I’m not talking about International gymnastics or truthfully even college gymnastics, that’s not reality yet.
With regards to families- I’ve seen it all.
Angry parents. Frustrated coaches. Bitter kids. Schedules on the brink of disaster.
Screaming, hustling, shuffling.
Demanding, spending, comparing.
More dinners out of a bag in the back of the car than around a table. More time apart than together. More chaos than peace.
For the love of our kids, can we please inject some more joy into gymnastics?
After all, are our children competing in gymnastics because they love it or because we want them to love it?
Because it teaches them something about themselves or because it validates something about ourselves?
Because competition brings out the best in them or the worst in us?
Chances are very small that any of our five children will ever earn a penny from playing a sport. (Unless they hustle younger kids on the playground. “Hey- I’ll do a back flip for a dollar!”)
In light of that reality, wouldn’t it be amazing if our youth gymnastics coaches and parents filled these kids up with joy for the sport instead of over-competition? Joy instead of frustration?
With encouragement instead of criticism?
With a slap on the back instead of chastising them?
I’m not pretending to know all the answers. But I do know that, in the name of giving our kids an opportunity, we’ve stolen joy and replaced it with anger many times.
This isn’t a battle we’re shying away from and youth sports aren’t something we’re going to stop pursuing. After all, our kids love it for now.
So practically, here are ways to inject more joy into youth sports:
- Give kids permission to quit a sport if they don’t love it. Not in the middle of a season. But if they gave it their best shot and didn’t enjoy it, they can quit no questions asked.
- As a coach and/or parent, be aware of anger. Yelling so kids can hear, speaking loudly and demanding attention is part of a healthy and respectful view of sport. But man, it’s a fine line between yelling and screaming. Authority and anger. My goal is to ensure that when my voice is raised it’s to encourage them, not berate them.
- Eat dinner around your own table as often as possible. Realistically it doesn’t happen every night and it’s not always glamorous, but fight like hell for more time together not less.
- Choose one sport per season. Especially bigger families with multiple kids, it’s impossible to juggle even one sport per kid let alone multiple sports. Let’s not over-commit, over-extend and burn our kids out.
- They don’t need extra lessons. At least not yet. Our son doesn’t need a swing coach at five. Our daughters don’t need private soccer lessons before middle school. Maybe there’s a time for that, but it’s not yet.
- Don’t feel pressure to attend every kid’s every activity. Prepare your kids for that time when mom and/or dad won’t be at that practice, meet, tournament, recital, whatever.
This is a sensitive conversation that I’m sure isn’t fully exhausted here, but it’s one I think we should start having more honestly and openly. I’m hopeful we can all start to play a part in the solution.
Because Gymnastics should be enjoyed not endured.
This post was adapted from Justin Ricklefs’ blog.
Follow Justin Ricklefs on Twitter: www.twitter.com/justinricklefs
