There is an age-old question: Is it better to be feared or respected? Is it better to be a “nice” leader to get your gymnasts to like you? Or to be tough as nails to inspire respect and hard work? I once heard a coach say, “you want your gymnasts to be more afraid of you than the skill.” Despite the recent enthusiasm for wellness initiatives and positive coaching and despite the movements within USA Gymnastics towards rewarding positive coaching styles too many coaches still assume the latter is best.
The traditional paradigm just seems safer: Be demanding, firm and a little distant from your gymnasts. Your gymnasts should fear and respect you, but not feel so familiar with you that they might forget who’s in charge. A little dog-eat-dog, tough-it-out, sink-or-swim culture seems to yield time-tested results and keep gymnasts hungry and on their toes. After all, if you’re a leader who seems like you care a little too much about your gymnasts, won’t that make you look “soft”? Won’t that mean you will be less respected? That gymnasts won’t work as hard?
According to an article in the Huffington Post, New developments in organizational research are providing some surprising answers to these questions.
“Tough” managers often mistakenly think that putting pressure on employees will increase performance. What it does increase is stress — and research has shown that high levels of stress carry a number of costs to employers and employees alike.
Think about how that will affect your gymnasts. Being a “tough” coach will probably not increase performance but it will increase stress. Stress carries a price both for YOU and the gymnasts on your team.
Gymnasts feeling too much stress will be sick more often. They will miss more training sessions and make more mistakes. A really STRESSED gymnast is going to quit or switch gyms.
Is it any better with “nice” coaches? Do their gymnasts fare better — and do kind coaches get ahead?
Contrary to what many believe, nice guys (and gals!) can actually finish first, as long as they use the right strategies that prevent others from taking advantage of them. In fact, other research has shown that acts of altruism actually increase someone’s status within a group.
Harvard Business School’s Amy Cuddy and her research partners have also shown that leaders who project warmth — even before establishing their competence — are more effective than those who lead with their toughness and skill. Why?
One reason is trust. Employees (and your gymnasts!) feel greater trust with someone who is kind.
When coaches are fair to the members of their team, the team members display more citizenship behavior and are more productive, both individually and as a team. Jonathan Haidt at New York University Stern School of Business shows in his research that when leaders are self-sacrificing, their employees experience being moved and inspired. Do this and your gymnasts will feel more loyal and committed to the goal of the team and be better team mates. Research on “paying it forward” shows that when you work with people who help you, in turn you will be more likely to help others (and not necessarily just those who helped you).
Such a culture can even help mitigate stress. While our brains are attuned to threats (whether the threat is a raging lion or a raging coach), our brain’s stress reactivity is significantly reduced when we observe kind behavior. As brain-imaging studies show, when our social relationships with others feel safe, our brain’s stress response is attenuated. There’s also a physical effect.
Taken together, this body of research shows that creating a leadership model of trust and mutual cooperation may help create a culture that is happier, in which gymnasts help each other, and (as a consequence) become more productive in the long run.
Going back to that conversation I had with that coach, “you want your gymnasts to be more afraid of you than the skill.”
I responded, “wouldn’t you want them to TRUST you more than they feared the skill?”
That could be the reason I’m still in the gym and he is not.
